December 16th 2011 the day I was told I had Post Natal Depression. Kai was exactly 4 months old and I knew I weren't feeling myself so went to the doctors were I was prescribed some tablets. Oh the joy.
I distanced myself from Mr L for a while, paying more attention to my laptop than him. I'll even admit I would sit on my laptop throughout the day while the kids were up it made it easier to get through if they were both screaming at the same time. I didn't want to, I hated myself for it afterwards but something evil had a hold of me and I just couldn't escape.
Just before the new year I came across a few blogs, then I found some mummy blogs. Which made me decide to start mine back in January. I knew of blogs as I once started a "music" related blog. That didn't last very long though.
As I started reading some of the mummy blogs I found I realised that I too would like my own little space, a cyber space. Somewhere I could write and say what I want without making sure I'm going to be judged.
Of course people can judge me, my readers can judge me but the best thing about my own space is the delete button.
With my depression sometimes I say or do things I initially regret but I never have the stomach to say it out loud, so to write in a post, hit publish and for basically "strangers" to read what I've written is a different kettle of fish.
I started my blog for me. To write down what's in my head, to record the milestones Kels & Kai reach, to make a diary of my upcoming wedding and to talk all things mummy.